Oh, don’t you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me
I said, You’re holding back
She said, Shut up and dance with me
— From the song Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon
“I can either talk or dance; I can’t do both.” I’ve related this as a limitation of mine, for years, as regards chatting during dances. Diana’s Blog lists it first in the article “Top 20 Social Dancing Pet Peeves,” saying: “Engaging in conversation during the dance can be distracting, hindering your partner’s ability to fully immerse themselves in the experience.”
In the past, I considered conversing during dancing insupportable. These days, I endeavor to take it in stride if someone would rather chat; after all, it’s just another way to connect. A few words of greeting or a warm initial exchange are always welcome, but if we’re catching up or telling stories I’ll need to stick to basics, as my brain cannot abide both at once.
When, on the other hand, a partner and I readily drop into that “non-verbal communication through movement, rhythm, and physical connection” (as Diana describes it in her blog), the satisfaction can be immense. Relaying feelings and mood, and detecting them in a dance partner, sans words, is an exquisite sensation which, for me, offers more connection than all save the most intimate verbal conversations. Some of my favorite dances have been undertaken without a word, until the song ends and a grateful “thank you” might be expressed.
My advice? If you’re an automatic talker, examine whether you might be feeling nervous or that talking is simply your unconscious default, and give silence a go now and then. Perhaps for an entire evening, see how it changes your experience. And if you loathe talking, rather than resenting your partner, see if you can listen to them in a meaningful way, while moving simply together. Either way, we get to practice being present, accepting the reality of the moment while trading the struggle for harmony. And isn’t that dancing, at its best?
Scroll just below and see more listings online at the Dance Calendar for ample opportunities to, as Elvis said, engage in “A little less conversation, a little more action.”
See you on the dance floor —Sean Donovan